Thanks, wish it were mine.


Warning Plot Spoilers!!
                   

                         DmC4 Parody


Instead of a Dante lead,
a cheap wannabe was favored.
And many of the gamers
questions remained unanswered.

There's no sign of Vergil.
Though rumor has it he's
reduced to a poser's arm.
No wait, sound the alarm.
Capcom promised us a likeable character.
Looks like they confused likeable
with a no talent, immature newb with no charm.

They say the game's full of ***.
With the appearance of Trish and Gloria.
Now they've also made Lady out to be a ***.
If Lady did actually get into a violent bout,
we all thought her "assets" might fall out!

Can't believe I didnt figure out sooner
that Gloria was another well known prostitute.
The gameplay was still amazing though,
No matter how much of the story they dilute.

It all started with a old man who wouldnt
stay dead even after getting capped.
He's supposed to be a religious leader
but he finally just snapped.

He sends a big headed scientist
that st-st-st-stutters.
Who even devil triggers,
complete with real tough butterfly
wings that fl-fl-fl-flutters.
He even wields mechanical swords
which he used to spread his butter.

Hickory dickory dock
Dante still stuffs his pants with a sock.
They never told us how Nero got his devil arm
Someone needs to tell Capcom that this is a crock.

Zippity do-da Zippity yay.
Dante was wandering through
the lost forest and lost his way.
When up sprang Bugs Bunny after
making a wrong turn at albuquerque.
He told Dante "Ehh to escape doc,
you have to use the light of day!"

Meanwhile our hero Nero got captured.
Because the night before, he hung around
some chimpanzees and got plastered.

Dante faces off with a giant statue of liberty on steroids.
And commanding it was an ancient old dude with hemoroids.
If Nero doesnt rescue his
constant damsel-in-distress,
he will be food for a clay monster to digest.

It takes a wicked *** slap
to wake hero Nero from his nap.
He takes out his boom box and plays a familiar beat.
Booming is Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
Suddenly, Nero starts to break dance and rap!
He finishes by grabbing his family's bells
then he sharply yells " For you Playstation, Xbox smells!".

The statue crumbles, can it be?
No, our heroes didnt defeat him as you can see.
The statue lands on his ass as he fell.
His battery is dead because he uses Duracell.

Always use Energizer kids.
Cuz like the bunny you keep going and going.
So with the enemy vanquished,
our heroes spend the rest of their
time eating pizza and bowling.

Far from being the series defining crown.
But here's looking forward to DmC5.
Unless it involves Jester returning in a floral gown!