oh i thought i pissed u off thats why u havnt been talking but now that i know could u go to my forum with my stories me made new adventure one

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Dont you touch her she has nothing to do with this, LET HER GO!!

Umm...Hi guys! I don't normally write for the thread myself, but Rage and I usually brainstorm this crap together, and the library only lets us spend an hour on the computer, therefore if Rage spends all her time on just the thread and not apart of it watching DMC STUPIDFILES on YOUTUBE (Y'all gotta go watch it!) I would never hear the end of it anyways let's get on with the thread. :I

We are now naming our episodes so we can keep track of em. This one is called FARTS.

As continuing from the story, Jester is still stuck in the geyser with Spongebob an Pat having a picnik on his ass. Then he strikes a conversation with them:                                                                                                                                                     

Jester:"*EhEM* Do you think you could give me a hand? Its really hot down here, y'know..."

Spongebob:"Hmmm...did you hear something, Pat?"

Pat:"Uhhh...I Dunno..."

Jester:"Down here!"

Pat:"WAAAAHHH! The rock is talking to us!"

Sponge:*Looking around*"The Rock?Where? I don't see him!"

Pat:"Hmmm...I don't see him either...Maybe Mic Foley is around..."

Jester:*Now growing impatient*"NO,you stupid fools!You're not sitting on a rock at all! You're sitting on my but!"

Sponge:"Oh, sorry about that,pal!"

 *Sponge an Pat hop off his bum.*

Sponge:"So what brings a real purple guy like yourself out here at a place like this?"

Jester:"That's the problem, you see. I never ment to come out here, I was headed to the furthest island over there called 'Britain',to continue my search!"

Sponge:"Search 4 what?"

Jester:"...The search for...*>>>>>>  3 (camera zooms in on his butt,this 3 is his butt)*"a SHRUBBERY!!!"

 D-D-D DOOOOOOMMM! (sound FX)

Sponge:"Hmmm...Well, good luck with that!"

 *Him and Pat leave back to the ocean. Then Vergil walks up after hearing the conversation...*

Verge:"A shrubbery? ( <.<.....>.> ) who sent you?"

Jest:"The Knights who say...*>>>> 3 (zoom in)*"...NI!"

Verge:"Oh, damn, that's just what i thought"

Jester:"Yeeesss, my devil lad! And anyone who would dare to stop me will be cut down wiiitthhh *Pulls a herring from his pocket* "...A HERRING!"

Vergil:"Hmph!...Watever. As far as I can see, you won't be going anywhere, you clown!"

   *Vergil pulls out Yamato, bends down closer to Jester threateningly*

Vergil:"You will NEVER bring the shrubbery here... that vile and accursed shrubbery! You will remain here with your ridiculous mug stuck in this geyzer hole!"

Nero:"Yeah,but...then we won't be able to ge the Silver Potato..."

Jester:"Waaait, did you say Silver Potato?"

Nero:"Uh, yeah."

Jester:"Well, I just happen to see something bright and silvery down here!"

Nero:"What?!!You do?! Lemmme see! Let's pull him out!"

Vergil:"NOOO! You will NOT pull him out of that hole!"

Nero:"But he said he saw it!"

Vergil:"That moron probably doesn't even see his nose in front of his face! It's too dark for him to see down there!"

Nero:"But what if it glows or something?

Jester:( Grabs his own butt cheeks with each hand and proceeds to Butt-talking) "Hey now, can I ass you a question?"

 *Vergil and Nero stare down at Jester in disbelief and shock*

Jester:( still butt-talking)"Saaay, how valuable is this...Silver Potato? What if I...could just eat it?"

Nero:"NO! You better not eat it!"

Vergil:"He's LYING! He probably doesn't even see it, I told you!"

Jester:(Butt-talking)"OOOhhh I could serve it up, a baked Silver Potato with some yummy bacon bits and butter, an some booling hot soup!

---

BURN, BABY! BUUUURRN!!! XD

good one DD

---

Dont you touch her she has nothing to do with this, LET HER GO!!

Fear not, my friends! I have come to finish this thread!!!!

 (FARTS continued...)

Nero: "... boiling hot soup?"

Jester: "OF COURSE!!! XD And perhaps a crumpet and a cup of TEA!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

Vergil:"Shut up, you---"

Jester: "Ah, YES, a cup of tea!!! Let's make it Earl Grey, shall we? And treacle tarts! Everyone loves treacle tarts and---- OOP! I think I have a wee little burp coming on!!!"

Vergil: (eyes wide)"What the f---"

FAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT.                         

Vergil: *at first, Vergil is stunned, then...* "....how DARE YOU?"

Jester: "AAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

Vergil: "Grrr... take this, you piece of $#!T!!!!"

Nero: *gasp!*O_O!!!

*Vergil kicks Jester square in the pants. Jester flies away, cackling madly, and lands in a tree.*

SpongeBob: "Wow, that's a helluva lot farther than I flew!"

Dante: *comes running up* "Hey, you guys! I spotted out at sea! I think it's Mundus!"

Vergil: "Mundus?"

Nero: "Who the hell is Mundus?

Dante: "Long story, kid, tell ya later! For now, I gotta go kick his ass again!!!" *Dante charges off, swinging Rebellion around.*

Vergil: "Mundus? Here? Oh, damn. I've had enough of that idiot."

Nero: "Who's Mundus?"

Vergil: "Let's just go."

 

THE DONKEY KONG COCONUT SHOOTER

 

*Vergil and Nero arrive at the beach in time to see Dante staring out at sea with his cone-shaped piece of wood.*

*Vergil stands next to Dante, looks at him in disgust, them snatches it away from him.*

Dante: "Hey, now! Wait! Oh, come on! Gimme that back, bro! I was taking a look at the chicks, dude!!!"

Vergil: "Mundus doesn't have 'chicks' with him, you moron! That was just that trashball, Trish! And... And tht's not Mundus, you imbacile!! That's ---"

Nero: "A ship! We can finally get out of here!!!"

*The ship drifts slowly to the shore, and a rope ladder rolls off of the side and plops on the ground. The three of them take a closer look at this to see that it was just and old vessel with tattered sails and a grizzly-looking merman for a headpiece, this of which Dante had mistaken for Mundus, because it was so ugly. And indeed, Mundus is ugly, not gonna win a beauty pageant anytime soon---*

Vergil: "....It's.... ugly..."

*You heard it here, folks!*

Nero: "Duh! It's a ship! All ships are ugly."

Vergil: "Yes, but this one is particularly ugly. I do not approve."

Dante: "Gosh, Verge, you'd turn your nose up at the Starship Enterprise! You're just upset cos it ain't first class."

Vergil: *glaring at Dante now* "You wouldn't know first class if it wiped your ass for you."

Dante: "Whatever. At any rate, it looks like a float to me! C'mon, let's climb aboard!"

Nero:"I call shotgun!"

"NO!"

They are all taken aback when someone stands in the ship and points a sword at them.

"You shall not climb aboard; we found this ship first!"

Dante: "Who's talkin'?"

It was Credo, with his foot atop the railing, his clothes ragged and brown as though he had not changed in a year. To his left popped up Agnus, peeking over the railing like a tiny coward (of which he is) and feebly brandishing a metal nail-file.

Agnus: "W-w-w-we found it first!"

Nero: "Oh, puleeeze!"

Dante: "Yeah, don't go Captain Morgan on our asses. We want a float."

Vergil: *looking at the other two* "Um, yes! We want off of this deserted island. And if you men were smart, or at least not brain-dead, then you will either join us, or be hanged...."

Agnus: *Gasp!*

Dante: "...by your JOHNNIES!!!"

Credo: "HOW DARE YOU? I will NOT be threatened by an imbacile like yourself, who looks and smells like cat fecies, and was raised by hamsters dressed as nuns!!!"

Agnus: "Y-y-y-yes, we will not be th-th-th-threatened by a bunch of ss-s-silk-headed, sadistic EMOS!!!"

Vergil: "You two scum-faces are no match for the three of us!" *smirking as he pulls out Yamato.*

Credo: "Oh, you think so? You bunch of fruity-booty Hollywood blisters!!!"

Dante: "What?"

Nero: "That's lame, you freakin' retards!"

Credo: "Enough! Agnus! Activate the Donkey Kong Coconut Launcher!!!"

Agnus: "Y-y-y-yes, dear..."

Credo: "WOT?"

Agnus: "N-Nothing!"

*Agnus and Credo disappear.*

Nero: "Um, okay, should we climb aboard yet?"

Vergil: "No. I've got a bad feeling about this..."

Dante: "And you also got a bad feeling about Teletubbies! C'mon guys, let's go..."

*but Nero and Vergil did not follow.*

*Dante swaggered his way toward the boat, swinging Rebellion around again. Then, without warning, something falls from the sky and hits him on top of the head.*

Dante: (swaying on the spot with a finger up and eyes out of focus)"Goatlings are like blood goats, except much smaller..." *He falls in the sand with a heavy thud.

*Vergil looks down at Dante, then looks up in time to see an evil curtain of flying coconuts heading for them.*

Vergil: "TAKE COVER!!!"

*Vergil and Nero run away, covering their heads, leaving Dante behind in the insidious shower of coconuts.*

Dante: (now all black and blue from being pelted by coconuts) "I like it when babes wear coconuts, but I don' like gettin' hit by em'...." XP

*He gets hit one more time in the head, just for good measures.*

---

Yeah... I'm good.... :)

Haha! That was awsum xD

I really love these little episode... things n_n Can't wait 'til the next one.

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NOTE - This fanfic is a break away from the normal humour because I'd like to try out some serious work. Hope you lot enjoy it!

 

~This story involves Vergil and it takes place in Vergil's chambers. I've decided to write this as if it's just before DMC3~

xXx ~~ xXx

Vergil looked out of the window, running his fingers slowly down the cold glass. His warm breathe froze as it escaped his trembling lips. His memory scorched with memories of him and Dante as they played together as children, sometimes playful, other times serious. That fire that burned within his brother's eyes was frightening, even though Vergil knew he could always beat the younger Sparda twin. But now they were both older, and Vergil knew the next time he looked into those cool blue eyes of his brother, there would be no fire, no passion in battle. Only a icy and bitter determination to rip him apart. It shouldn't frighten him, but nonetheless he couldn't help but cry.

He had seen Dante walked down the streets near by, hnds in pockets and smiling to himself. Vergil watched as Dante's smile captured many people to his side. It stang that Vergil was here all alone, his smile a mere flicker upon his cold lips. Vergil was a loner by nature, ever since birth. And yet he found himself yearning for his brother and for the warmth and happiness Dante brung. Vergil shook himself and rain began to fall from the melancholy sky.

His reflection in the glass sneered back at him, taunting him. Vergil gritted his teeth then hesitated as he saw himself walk in the streets below. He pressed his hands against the glass, seeing through his reflection and gazing at the figure below. The man looked like him, from the silky ivory hair to the blue eyes. His hair was flat, but that was probably due to the rain. Vergil felt his heart pang as the man looked up, staring into Vergil's eyes. "Dante..." Vergil breathed, pressing harder against the glass, desperate to fall through so he could fall next to his brother.

Dante blinked as rain ran into his eyes. He shielded his face with his hand and squinted up at the figure who was staring down at him. The figure above was in a dark room, making it hard for Dante to make out who it was. Dante shrugged. If that wanted to speak with him, then they'd come down. Dante smiled and continued along the streets, whistling a tune.

Vergil slumped, hands sliding down the glass. He hung his head, feeling tears form behind his eyes, "Why am I like this? Pathetic mortal emotions... I don't need them..." He grabbed his Yamato which had fallen to the ground previously. "Dante, if you won't accept me then I have no choice but to make you see the true nature of Sparda!" He stared at his blade, hearing the words as if they weren't his own. Honestly, he wasn't sure what he wanted. Power? Family? But ever since what happened to Eva, he felt weak, unable to protect his family, unable to protect Dante. So he left him all alone...

Vergil growled and pulled on his long jacket, scolding himself for thinking such stupid thoughts. Mortal thoughts. Not the thoughts of a Sparda. But, didn't Sparda fall in love? Didn't he give in to his emotions...? "No, I won't give in! You can't make me, Father!" Vergil trembled with anger and fear. "Power... I need power. I hve no family now..."

Vergil moved towards the door, pulling it open and walking into the sombre streets before him. "It begins..."

xXx ~~ xXx

Ok I hope you liked it! ^__^ It was fun to write. Please comment!

---

But now... when I look back... the people who should be with me aren't... the people who should be smiling with me aren't here!
~
Are sins... ever forgiven...?
...I've never tried.
~
(Made for me by Rage)

Awesome, nice work Michy ^_^

It was a nice change to see a serious fanfic, though don't get me wrong I love the funny ones too ^_^ I can't wait to read more of your work ^_^

---

Many thanx to blackhealer for drawing me this ^_^

Blackness covers all I see and all I touch
No feeling of pain just sorrow
My hand loses grip of the sword I held
And I turn to become a true shadow.

(\-M-/) Muah ha ha...Fear the Bunny King!!!
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Awww thanks Adam! *Kisses your cheek* You're so supportive! ^___^

---

But now... when I look back... the people who should be with me aren't... the people who should be smiling with me aren't here!
~
Are sins... ever forgiven...?
...I've never tried.
~
(Made for me by Rage)

heh Your welcome ^_^ *kisses you back* I know, I'm just so caring XP

---

Many thanx to blackhealer for drawing me this ^_^

Blackness covers all I see and all I touch
No feeling of pain just sorrow
My hand loses grip of the sword I held
And I turn to become a true shadow.

(\-M-/) Muah ha ha...Fear the Bunny King!!!
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Hehe back to the comedy!! XD This is an idea I came up with just and I think it'll be pretty funny! I call it...

DEVIL MAY SING - Part 1

 ~~~

The stage lights up and Lucia stepped through the smoke, smiling and holding a microphone.

LUCIA: "Hello! And welcome to 'Devil May Sing!' The most popular programme as of late! We have a lot of eager contests here today-"

VERGIL: "*Looks miserable. Is only here because Dante forced him*"

LUCIA: "And we hope you guys and the audience as home have a wicked time! *Smiles at camera* First up, Dante!"

~

LUCIA: "Okay ladies! He owns his own business and he is as sexy as they come! But will his singing make our hearts melt or freeze?"

VERGIL: *Calls out from off stage* "It'll make us suicidal!"

DANTE: *Kicks Vergil in the shins as he walks by him. Slowly walks on stage as the music starts*

VERGIL: *Cries out and holds his shin* "No more Mr. Pretending-to-be-nice-guy..."

DANTE: "I'm gonna spend another night all by myself-"

VERGIL: "Like usual..."

DANTE: "Like a loser on the outside looking in-"

VERGIL: "Again, like usual..."

DANTE: "No one cares if I disappear and don't come back-"

VERGIL: *Smirks* "Got that right."

DANTE: "Cause the only friends I have are in my head-"

VERGIL: "Not true, your hand is your friend too, if you know what I mean..."

DANTE: "And I know that I'm alive but I feel dead-"

VERGIL: "You look it too."

DANTE: *Sticks finger up at Vergil which causes the crowd to hiss and boo.* "I wanna be that guy that gets the girl and saves the world, Then everyone would wanna be like me, be like me,I wanna be that guy that's got it made gets overpaid, Then everyone would wanna be like me, be like me, Confidence and ego trips I never took-"

VERGIL: *Snorts*

DANTE: "You'll never know the places that I've been, Who is gonna sell me a miracle, Cause every star I've wished on fades away, And my universe gets dimmer every day..."

VERGIL: "Get off stage!"

DANTE: "Oh, that's it! *Throws mic down and pounces on Vergil*"

LUCIA: *Gasps and runs on stage* "And now to commercial break!"

~~~

Part 2 coming soon!

---

But now... when I look back... the people who should be with me aren't... the people who should be smiling with me aren't here!
~
Are sins... ever forgiven...?
...I've never tried.
~
(Made for me by Rage)

Great work again Mich, that was hilarious ^_^ Dante and Vergil get along so well XD

I can't wait for part 2 to see what everyone else has to sing XP

---

Many thanx to blackhealer for drawing me this ^_^

Blackness covers all I see and all I touch
No feeling of pain just sorrow
My hand loses grip of the sword I held
And I turn to become a true shadow.

(\-M-/) Muah ha ha...Fear the Bunny King!!!
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Okay, here's part 2! XD

I'm not too sure what I think about this one... I don't really like it that much but hey, I thought the song suited Lady!

~~

LUCIA: *Camera pans on her and she smiles widely.* "Welcome back to the show! Thankfully we've sorted out some... technical difficulties..."

DANTE and VERGIL: *Gagged and tied up off stage*

LUCIA: "Next up... LADY! *Runs off stage*"

LADY: *Walks up onto the main stage and smiles nervously at the camera as it pans to her. Holding a mic*

LUCIA: *Off stage* "Lady is a demonhunter who sassy and fierce! But will her singing blow us away?"

*Music starts thumping and Lady taps her feet*

LADY: Four letter word just to get me along, It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue and I keep stalling, keeping me together, People around gotta find something to say now..."

*Lights shine brighter and Lady starts to dance*

LADY: "They call me 'hell', They call me 'Stacey', They call me 'her', They call me 'Jane'-"

ARKHAM: *In audience, holding a sign that says 'Mary to win'*

LADY: *Points to sign* "That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my name~~! They call me 'quiet girl, But I'm a riot, MARY, Jo, Lisa, Always the same, That's not my name!!!"

ARKHAM: *Stands up* "But it is! After all, it was I who gave you your name, my darling daughter!"

LADY: "Shut up, old man! *Get out one of the many guns she has*"

LUCIA: "Whoa! Calm down now! There's no need for this!"

LADY: "This is my father... my family! Mind your own business!"

LUCIA: *Pushes camera away and dives at Lady, pinning her down* "Another break I think!"

CAMERA CREW: "Already? But-"

LUCIA: "Just do it!"

*A cereal advert called 'Demon-os' appears on screen*

~~

Just to let you know, the songs are...

DANTES - 

Artist: Dexter Freebish      Song: Prozak (Be Like Me)

LADY'S -

Artist: The Ting Tings       Song: That's not my name

---

But now... when I look back... the people who should be with me aren't... the people who should be smiling with me aren't here!
~
Are sins... ever forgiven...?
...I've never tried.
~
(Made for me by Rage)

Yeah, the first part was funnier, so I can see what you mean by not liking it as much but considering Lady isn't the 'funniest' character, you did a good job ^_^ The song was a good choice too ^_^

I'm trying not to sound like a broken record, but I can't wait for more XP

---

Many thanx to blackhealer for drawing me this ^_^

Blackness covers all I see and all I touch
No feeling of pain just sorrow
My hand loses grip of the sword I held
And I turn to become a true shadow.

(\-M-/) Muah ha ha...Fear the Bunny King!!!
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Love the fanfics. Especially the raining coconuts.

---

If I do change my username it'll be to 'Haku"...or maybe something more DMC-ish...
How about "The Quiet One"?

Hitori Oni:

Love the fanfics. Especially the raining coconuts.

Thanx, hombre!!!

And Gungrave, those last two were hilarious!!! I liked that part with Lady getting pissed off wid her daddyo, I can just picture it!!!

And the first one.... actually brought a tear to my eye.... Seeing this side of Vergil an all.... .... Oh, here you go...

---

Yeah... I'm good.... :)